Julian has become a shell of a man during the passing year. While back in Montana, Deacon and Julian spend time together but both are confused by feelings they are acquiring for each other. Deacon’s mother demands his presence at a family remembrance. This is a pivotal moment in the book – when Deacon feels a commonality and closeness with Julian as they both suffer.Ĭhapter one skips ahead to the one-year anniversary of Rhett’s death. Not while the sadness that echoes throughout the room mirrors the sadness that surges inside of me… he has nobody – we both have nobody. I can’t willingly walk away from him, not while his heart is breaking. When he goes to leave, he hears Julian’s ragged sobs and climbs into bed to hold and comfort him. Deacon finds Julian curled up in bed, listless and largely unresponsive, engulfed in his grief. He was coddled by Deacon’s mother and loved by Rhett, making Deacon jealous and saddened by the attention they bestowed upon Julian rather than him.īefore embarking on the ten hour drive back to Seattle, Deacon is asked by his mother to deliver a box left to Julian by Rhett. Julian grew up in a foster home next door to Deacon’s family, became Rhett’s best friend, and spent most of his time at their home. What makes the funeral even more distressing is the presence of Julian, his brother’s boyfriend of many years.

She makes her disappointment in him clear, and he feels like he’s never good enough. He left home in Montana years ago and moved to Seattle because he needed independence, far away from his mother and her disdain for him. Not only is he there for his brother Rhett’s funeral, he’s having to deal with his mother’s toxicity. The prologue opens with Deacon back in his hometown and miserable.

It’s a beautiful hurt /comfort love story in which two men bond and fall in love over their shared grief. Without You is a poignant look at loss, love, and soulmates. The rush, the ferocity, the desperation to be with you-I have never felt anything with such strength and conviction, about anybody or anything.” “My heart didn’t beat for him the way it does for you. “But this, with you…” He pauses, catching his breath. He was complex and layered, and inherently beautiful in all the ways I’d never noticed. I was now face to face with Julian more than I ever wanted to be.īeing around him brought up all my insecurities, forced me to deal with hard truths, and conjured up feelings I had no business entertaining. Heartache came along, and the aftermath of my brother’s death was here to stay. While he and Rhett went on to play house, I left the only life I knew, desperate for a fresh start. My brother’s best friend, he fit with my family in ways I never could. Tragedy brought us together, but something stronger made me want to stay.

Without you book by marley valentine